Christmas Time..........

Here are things to note about my Christmas:
1) My boyfriend gave me a pair of Seven jeans which is good for three reasons: 1- I've been wanting them for 2 years because I am a firm believer that good jeans make your butt look better and you skinnier, 2- he has been telling me for two years I am crazy for wanting jeans that cost that much and him buying them shows he does really care about what I really want, and 3- when I tell people who don't know what Seven jeans are what he got me for Christmas they think I'm saying he bought me a size seven jean, which is not a size I wear.

2) My Dad got me a dog for Christmas, a 5 week old miniature Schnauzer. This is interesting on several levels, including but not limited to- I didn't ask for a dog; I have never made it unclear to anyone I know that if I ever got a dog it would be a pug named tator tot; did I mention I didn't ask for one? I told them I would have to think about it, but I will admit it is quite cute- I'll post a picture later.

3) Apparently my Dad was going to buy me a plasma flat screen tv, but decided to buy me a dog instead.

4) Yesterday while shopping at a furniture store I realized I was shopping right next to Jeff Francouer, who is the right fielder for the Braves for all you non-Braves fans!! It was quite exciting. I unfortuantely didn't get a picture because apparently I am really dumb and kept taking pictures of my hand with my phone...

5) It was a very nice day- hope yours was, too!!

Salted Meats

So, the first thing that you need to know is that my boyfriend is loud. When he talks, he can be quite loud. Goodness forbid you ever go to a movie that has a poop joke in it, because I guarantee he will be the one laughing the loudest and longest. It can get quite embarassing for me who doesn't necessarily like people looking at her for the sole reason she is with loudy. The times that can be really embarassing are any sort of sports function, or anywhere in public with his friends as I have noticed that his loudness increases by 500% when we are around his friends. Never watch football with him- just a tip. The good part of this behavior is that when we are at a bar or a party, I can usually find him. Which brings us to Saturday night:

Saturday night we stopped by one of his friends' annual Christmas party. It was a fairly small house so people were inside and outside hanging out since there were a lot of people there. Due to the fact that I had on my high heeled boots (very cute, but not so comfy) and the fact I hadn't been to the chiropractor in a month, I found the most comfortable chair and parked myself in it. It was the perfect situation because I could see the tv with the football game and everyone I knew there was standing or sitting near me. We hung out for awhile and enjoyed the baby quiches and small talk and I finally talked him into leaving a few hours later. By then it was past my bedtime and the quiches were gone, the game was over, I had started the water drinking process, so to me the night was over.

So, we head inside and I squeeze past the girls who had not started the water drinking portion of the night and were instead dancing to Fergalicious with all the left over food on trays in their hands (think ham, carrots, celery, dips, etc- but mostly ham). I finally got past them and made my way to the front door only to turn around and boyfriend was nowhere to be found. I looked in bathroom, the room with the coats, the kitchen and he was nowhere......then I stuck my head into the "dancing room" and find him still standing at the door staring with his mouth open and eyes dancing. I looked at him and gave him the "we were leaving, my feet hurt" glare to which he yells (especially loud so I could hear him over fergie), "BABY, I'M SORRY BUT THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN DRUNK GIRLS DANCING WITH SALTED MEATS." We finally left but I am still hearing about girls dancing with salted meats......and I don't even like ham.

Keep the Home Fires Burning...

So, I recently moved for the second time in 3 months........but its a good thing- once I get all my boxes unpacked. One of the things I love about my new place is that it has a fireplace that works! The previous tenant even left a lot of firewood by the back door. The only thing I was told about this fireplace was that sometimes if the fire got too big you had to crack the living room window so smoke wouldn't build up. (Now, I've never had a non-gas fireplace but I thought the point of a chimney was to allow the smoke to go outside and not "build up" inside, but what do I know).

The other week my boyfriend decided to test out the fireplace and got some firewood and built a fire. It was really fun but I did learn something that night (and by watching Survivor) and that is that it is a lot of work to build a fire from scratch. I decided then and there I might need those logs you can get where you light the paper and it lasts for 3 hours. The next day I went and got some.

So, last night I got home from work late and thought, "Hey, I'll turn on the Christmas tree lights, start a fire and prop my feet up." It sounded like a great plan. I put the log in the fireplace and lit "at the arrows" as instructed and in 2 minutes had a great fire. I went into the kitchen to start cooking dinner. After about 15 minutes it was time to drain the pasta. I poured the pasta into the colander in the sink and as the steam started rising up my smoke alarm went off. Now, this was the first time I had cooked in my kitchen so I thought, "Wow, that is one serious smoke alarm." I went and got a broom and waved it in front of the smoke alarm and it went right off. One minute later it went off again- but this time my brain started functioning and I realized it was my beautiful fire in the fireplace. I waved the broom again and this time cracked my living room window. Two minutes later- beep beep beep beep beep. I wave the broom and crack the window a little further this time. I then prop my feet up, sit back and get ready to enjoy my pasta, my tree, and my beautiful fire.

Now, I'm sure you can guess what happened two minutes later- smoke alarm. I waved the broom in front of the smoke alarm and this time open my living room window as high as it will go. (Keep in mind my couch is directly in front of this window, so the chilly night air is starting to blow right onto me- yes, totally defeating the purpose of my beautiful fire.) I felt satisfied this would work and it did- for about ten minutes. It went off again. This time I waved the broom, and then turned on the ceiling fan in the sunroom. This seemed to work pretty well, albeit I was freezing. So, for the next hour and a half the smoke alarm only went off about ten times.

Around this time my boyfriend calls to check in and I fill him in on my night with my now not-so-beautiful-but- more -liked- a- damned fire. To which he says (in not the most supportive of tones), "Why didn't you just take the battery out of the smoke alarm and put it back in before you go to bed?"

Duh. Why didn't I think of that? The good news is I got a great arm work out by fanning the broom.

Its a small, small, world

Ok, I know we all have our "Its a small world" stories, but here are two that have happened recently at my job that have somewhat freaked me out.
1) The receptionist at my office the other day (she is a volunteer and in her 70's) stopped me and asked me what my address was. I told her and her response was, "I thought I saw that in the rolodex. Is it a brick house on a hill?" She asked me a few more questions about it and after I told her all of that was true she said, "Yeah, I lived in that house 57 years ago." How weird is that? And my work is not in the same part of town as where I live which makes it doubly crazy.

2) A woman at the office stopped me the other day and asked, "Did your family live anywhere before they came here? Like Tennessee?" Well, I thought she meant my ancestors so I go into a long diatribe about how my father's family was from South Carolina and my mother's family were from Atlanta, etc etc. Finally she says, "Well, this woman saw you the other day and said she swore she knew your parents in Tennessee." Finally my brain started working and I yell, "OH yeah, my parents did live in Tennessee before I was born." But, that was 35 years ago so I was not convinced this woman talking to me knew what she was talking about.
Later, I called my mom to ask her if she knew the people who had asked about her. And her response was, "Oh yeah! We were friends with them before you were born!" Now what especially weirded me out was that the woman had not talked to my mom in over 35 years, had no idea I was ever born, but she just saw me and knew I was their daughter. It finally occurred to me that I am only a few years older than my mom would have been when they had known each other so apparently I look ALOT like my parents.

Its a SMALL world.

Holiday Idea....

Ok, everyone might already know this, but this is a great Holiday decorating idea: If you need a festive runner or table covering- use holiday wrapping paper. Its easy, cheap, and really fun. I used this at an event I did with kids the other day where they were doing crafts and the tables needed to be covered and we used fun paper instead of the usual white or brown paper. We also used nice red wrapping paper for a runner under the punch, etc and it looked really cute!
Just my idea for the day.

A Lesson in IM'ing

The other day my boss left for lunch and of course immediately I had a question I had to have answered. I kept waiting and waiting for Boss to return, but nothing. The secretary and I kept IM'ing back and forth about how long Boss had been gone, etc etc. Finally after about 4 hours I IM'ed the secreatary and said, "He's not back? YET????" When secretary didn't respond after a minute or so I wondered what was up and realized to my horror, I had sent Boss my IM!!! Luckily quick thinking me jumped into action and send Secretary outside to keep watch while I let myself into Boss's office and broke into the computer and erased the IM.
Close call. And the lesson is: if you are going to IM about your Boss, make sure you check the address before you press send.

Thanksgiving Detox

If you are like me you have just eaten more food than any human should consume the past few days. I swear dressing gets better and better each year. If I could eat just a huge plate of dressing everyday I would...........however I noticed this morning my pants are much tighter and I think I now have to go on food detox. I'm not sure what that means, but I see a lot of Lean Pockets and Lean Cuisines in my future, even though I can only think of Taco Bell right now....
Adding to this, my scale played a cruel trick on me. I got on the scare yesterday to see how bad the damage was and to my amazement I weighed 15 pounds less than I did a week ago. Now not only is that fairly impossible even if I was dieting, I knew it was a complete impossibility considering how much dressing and casseroles I had just had! Sometimes my scale can be weird depending on where it is, so I moved it across the bathroom- and again, 15 pounds lighter. Moved it again, still 15 pounds lighter. I did this at least five times all with the same result. And just as I was about to accept the miracle, I moved it again, and no longer did I weigh 15 pounds lighter, I actually weighed 3 pounds heavier than I had a week ago. Next time, I take what it says the first time.

my mailbox

This is why I hate my mailbox- Yesterday is POURED rain where I live for literally over 12 hours. As I am running onto my porch I open my mailbox and I was filled with complete happiness and then immediate horror. Waiting for me was my December issue of Martha Stewart Living. I have been anxiously waiting this particular issue because I love decorating for Christmas, and I just love looking at all the pictures. However, come to find out, my mailbox isn't weather-proofed and my long awaited present was soaked to the core. I dried it out as best I could and put it next to the oven and under lights and it is still usable, but it definitely won't fit in with my stack of other Livings........
Oh well. On to figure out weather-proofing tactics.

A Child's View

If there is one thing I love in life it is stories about my niece and nephew. I have a 9 year old niece and a five year old nephew and my sister usually has a good story for me when I call. The story from yesterday was pretty good, so I thought I'd share it:
Both my sister and brother-in-law are ministers who work at different churches so their time together is limited, but when they are together they are oftentimes discussing their church or something related to religion. Apparently my niece is getting tired of it. My sister said a few months ago my niece finally screamed, "Can we please find something else to talk about besides God? I am so tired of hearing about God!" Thus, for awhile whenever my sister and brother-in-law were discussing God they instead said the word pickle to give the 9 year old a break, and because it was completely ridiculous. Apparently she began to find this frustrating as well because yesterday she said, "Oh geez. Lets just call God what God is- the big holy It in the sky."
So now in our family God is referred to as The Big Holy It in the Sky.
I also love that a 9 year old didn't refer to God as Him or even her- It. Apparenlty my 9 year old niece is smarter than me.

Holiday Cards

Ok, I'm just going to put it out there. I realize I am in the minority in this line of thinking, but I'm going to say it anyway, and maybe someone can help me see the error of my ways in the comments section. BUT, honestly I really don't like holiday cards with family pictures on them. Now, I totally get sending those to relatives or friends who don't live near you, etc, but otherwise I just don't get it. And here is why: To me, you send Christmas cards or Holiday cards to tell people you are thinking of them. Its nice to get a card from someone and realize they took the time to think of you and send you a card. But when you put the picture on there I think it turns into "look at our family" and it looses the meaning of thinking of you, it no longer becomes about the receiver, it becomes about the sender.
SO, if you like these cards and can give me a new way to think of them, please let me know. (And remember, I said it was ok for people who don't see you often, etc).

I second that emotion....

Ok, I just have to say it- Snake Nation was right- The three cheese chicken quesadilla Lean Pocket is SO GOOD!!! I was hesitant at first because usually frozen chicken on entrees such as these do not appeal to me- but dear lordy- yummers. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes cheese- and its only 6 WW points....so good. I might dream about it tonight.
If you are always on the hunt for low-cal frozen options for lunchtime at work- here are some other favorites-
I also love the Spinach mushroom pizza by Lean cuisine- again only 6 points- and instead of marinara it has an "alfredo" sauce. (usually I am not an alfredo fan, but this is really good- and you feel like you've eaten something bad)
As far as WW frozen entrees- my friend recommended the Three Cheese Ziti and again- GOOD!
As you can tell, I like cheese. I don't usually like frozen low cal meals because I wish I were eating the real thing- but these three products I highly recommend and actually look forward to eating!

Britney, red states, and friends

So, if you are a democrat and live in a red state, Election day can be quite depressing. You go through all of the emotions- waking up thinking this time will be different and feeling hopeful, to seeing results come in and wondering if you need to move, to down right in the dumps depression. But, alas, this election day, the sun broke through the red state of mine's clouds and TADA the best news ever- Britney filed for divorce from Kfed. Now I know a lot of people may be tired of hearing about this, but I'm not. I really should write Brit brit a thank you note for making an otherwise bad day into the best day ever. You see, I had pretty much given up on Brit brit. I had filed her away into the Whitney Houston file of biggest talent wastes ever (although luckily that file name might have to be replaced soon..yeah). I'm not saying Britney is the most talented person out there, but I'm not going to lie, the music can be fun. Who doesn't like Hit me Baby One more time? No one. The golden years of her and Justin were just downright fun......and then Kfed happened. Our little golden Britney turned into trash slut mom Brit right before our very eyes. It was sad. It was depressing. Perez Hilton was aghast. I wasn't sure if we would ever get her back, but Tuesday she made the first step back towards stardom and it couldn't have come on a better day for this democrat living in a red state.
And to make things even better, I was reminded about what great friends I have who were just as excited as I about the news. Unfortunately my boyfriend didn't seem to care, but thats what friends are for, I guess. To share in any excitement, even if it is as petty as Britney filing for divorce.
.

100 things? Ok

It seems you are supposed to do this so here goes:
1. I was born in Columbus, GA but moved to the ATL before I was 2 months old.
2. I have an older sister and a younger half-sister.
3. I love the beach more than anything.
4. I would live at the beach if I had any money.
5. I got mono and missed the last month of my first semester of grad school- somehow I passed all my classes anyway.
6. I have a Master's Degree and when my student loans are more under control I want to back to school.
7. TiVo might be my favorite possession.
8. I love red wine, and hate white wine.
9. I went to Italy and fell in love (with the country, not an Italian- although that would have been nice).
10. I was in Florence, Italy when the Pope died.
11. I would be really skinny if they took mexican food and pasta out of my life.
12. I am somewhat obsessed with PopIce.
13. My favorite flowers are hydrangeas and if I ever get married that will be my bouquet.
14. If I'm not married by 35 I am going to carry around a bouquet of hydrangeas for a year- maybe.
15. I'm a democrat.
16. I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac, anytime I'm sick I'm pretty sure its cancer or a tumor.
17. I didn't like pink in high school but now it is my favorite color.
18. I majored in Art History.
19. I love dogs.
20. I love BudLight.
21. I love SEC football, especially the Tennessee Vols.
22. My grandmother is my hero.
23. I never knew either of my grandfathers.
24. I go to a chiropractor.
25. I've had the same two best friends my entire life.
26. I love daylight savings time.
27. I love to read- The Poisonwood Bible is my current favorite book.
28. For two years I collected the most money from alumni for my college. I won a savings bond, but have no idea what happened to it.
29. I really like playing Bridge, although I don't know anyone else who does.
30. I love Vegas.
31. One of my favorite childhood memories is Mom playing kickball with me in the front yard.
32. I cried more than my sister at her wedding.
33. I cry a lot- especially at commercials or The Biggest Loser ( I know, I know).
34. I visit Perezhilton.com literally over 54 times a day.
35. In 2nd grade I discussed who the Salem Strangler was on Days of Our Lives with my teacher (my mom and sister watched it).
36. My checkbook was always balanced to the penny until I got mono and it hasn't been balanced since.
37. I really love hot tea.
38. I have had pneumonia twice in my life- in 1st and 3rd grade and I sent myself a get well card.
39. As a junior in high school I broke my ankle skiing but the EMT guy said it was sprained so I had to walk on it for over 2 weeks.
40. I have a tattoo that I got with four other people. It hurt more than my broken ankle
41. I don't leave the house without lipstick on.
42. I sleep with the TV on.
43. I was once broken up with over e-mail.
44. If I won the lottery I would pay off my student loans and then hire someone to do my hair everyday.
45. I pretty much have to have a potato product at each meal (add that to my I'd be skinny if list)
46. I can talk to crowds of over 400 people with no problem, but want to cry if I am asked to walk into a room without a close friend and talk to people.
47. My parents divorced when I was 7.
48. My dad remarried when I was 8.
49. My mother should be nominated for sainthood.
50. I have a goddaughter.
51. I love America's Next Top Model (come one Snake Nation! :) )
52. I have a niece and a nephew who I probably talk about too much.
53. I am deathly afraid of lightning and tornadoes.
54. I am fairly messy although it drives me crazy.
55. I am obsessed with purses and shoes because they don't make me feel fat, and I truly believe they can make or break an outfit.
56. I don't wear much jewelry because I either forget to put it on, or I lose it all.
57. I really love the show Entourage and think Johnny Drama is the funniest part of the show.
58. I have a really small family but have always wanted a big one.
59. I have a really bad memory and sometimes have to call my best friend to ask her things.
60. I am always able to take a nap.
61. I made the plans for a Kindergarten system in Honduras.
62. I was never carsick until I went to Honduras and now I can hardly dial my cellphone in the car without getting sick.
63. I took my 85 year old blind grandmother to a Clay Aiken concert, at her request.
64. I have really big feet for my height.
65. I have a bunion on my right foot I call Paul.
66. I really like to paint, but get so frustrated with not being as good as I want that I don't do it a lot.
67. I really love babies.
68. I don't understand people who don't watch TV and are proud of it.
69. I was a math major in college for a week.
70. One of my proudest moments in college was getting an A in calculus.
71. I think I would make an excellent meteorologist.
72. I love going to Braves games.
73. I am a good typer.
74. Sometimes I have to turn the View off because of Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
75. I have had 3 wrecks and they were all my fault.
76. I love fried okra and squash (not fried).
77. I am highly allergic to real Christmas trees.
78. I watch the Today Show every morning.
79. I love pens from hotels, and I only used Holiday Inn Express pens in Grad school.
80. I prefer veggie burgers (gardenburgers, not black bean) to real hamburgers.
81. I don't like cartoons.
82. I love the movie What about Bob?
83. I also love Shawshank Redemption.
84. I also love anything with Will Ferrell in it.
85. I love getting pedicures.
86. I am named after my great-grandmother.
87. I don't get embarrassed. Well, it takes a lot.
88. I really love blueberry donuts from Dunkin Donuts and allow myself like 3 a year.
89. I love roller coasters.
90. I recently realized I am scared of heights.
91. A 6th grader dressed up as me for Halloween last year and I didn't know it but when I arrived at our Halloween Carnival, we were dressed exactly the same. Apparently I wear black shirts and jeans a lot.
92. I hate ham.
93. I really like fish (eating, not aquariums).
94. I wish my sister who lives in Indiana lived here so we could see each other all the time.
95. I have been told I look like everything from Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls (good) to Falcor from the Neverending Story (bad), and others in between.
96. The news that Britney filed for divorce is the best news I've heard all week.
97. One of my pet peeves is people sneezing. For some reason it drives me crazy.
98. Another pet peeve is when people say they are staying in the marriage for the children. If you loved your children you would realize children are smart and know when things aren't good.
99. I wore braces for 3 and a half years.
100. I have freckles and I hate them.

Whew.

Martha Stewart, here we come

Can you call yourself crafty if it takes you about 8 hours to make a bulletin board? I think so. My best friend, the bossy barwife, and I decided to make bulletin boards this weekend and lets just say it took two and a half football games to complete the project instead of the half of one we had planned. Luckily for me, bossy's husband bought enough food to include me in their dinner plans because I was there through mid-afternoon snack, appetizers, and dinner. Go to Bossy's blog to read the full story- she does a great job of telling it, but let me just reiterate a few things:
1) we really were covered in some very itchy building material and yes, I did break out into hives because of it.
2) apparently everyone in Home Depot Saturday knew what they were doing and didn't want to be bothered with two funny cool girls, because they were not impressed with us, especially when I dropped the contents of my purse the second time.
3) We are now bulletin board experts so tune in to see when you can order yours!

Open Letter to Parents on Halloween

Dear Parents- I love Halloween (well, I love candy) and I love watching children trick or treat on Halloween. However, Halloween is not an open invitation to walk your kids down the middle of the street and not move until you get to your destination, even when cars are coming. This is not only dangerous, as their are crazy drivers out there, but also not a good lesson to teach your children.
Thank you.
Mayor

Guilty Pleasures

Ok, so I have a new obsession. Judge me or love me, but here it is: I am newly obsessed with the tv show Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader: Making the Team. I know what you are thinking, I thought it to when my sister turned it on this weekend, but it is so addictive its great. It follows the tryouts of becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader which is over a 3 month process and very intense. Its like heaven and a train wreck all at the same time. They focus on a few girls so you get to like them and worry about whether they are going to be cut at any second and its so great. For instance, (don't worry, I'm not giving anything away) in one episode the "director" of the cheerleaders doesn't like a girls attitude and decides she needs to be polished so her homework assignment is: not stretching or working on the dance routines, but to read a biography of Jackie Kennedy Onassis! AND she makes the girl give an oral report at practice. Classic. There are parts that do enrage me- like making these girls feel fat when I can see their ribcage, but look beyond that to the beauty of the show. It comes on CMT- don't know times, but search for it. You won't regret it. (Trivia fact: Their tv movie Dallas Cowboy CHeerleaders is the second highest rated tv movie of all time)
My other new obsession is playing Shop Til You Drop on my cellphone. I highly encourage you Verizon customers to download it.

Not a good start.......

Two things occurred in the past 24 hours which made me think this week is not off to a good start:
1) I forgot to "fall back". As everyone else was getting an extra hour of sleep, I was instead unknowingly getting up at 5:30 am so I was ready for work at 6:30, only to figure out I had a full hour to sit......luckily there is a Starbucks nearby. And to add insult to injury, I hate (and yes, mom I know hate is a very strong word), but I hate daylight savings time ending. I love it when it is still light outside at 8:00. I don't like it when I arrive at the gym at 5:30 and it is dark. I basically stay depressed until March, or whenever the sun comes again....although good Christmas presents can sometimes brighten the day.... :)
2) This morning as I was beginning the hair drying ritual, I realized I had just saturated my hair with, not my leave-in detangler spray, but with hairspray, which you may know does not detangle, it actually sets the tangles in. Thus, me having the worst hair day ever which just happens to fall on the day of my yearly review. Thanks.

Guilty Pleasures

I just need to get a few things off my chest so I don't have to keep thinking I need to be a smart blogger. I finally realized (even though I think I said I had already but apparently I was lying) that my friends who read this already know me and the rest of you don't know who I am so even if I impressed you with my knowledge of china and fine linens you wouldn't think any more of me on the street, so why bother. Don't get me wrong I do like good sheets and am fairly knowledgeable about some smart stuff- art and shoes (and if you don't think shoes are smart you are sorely mistaken) but I have found that I am most knowledgeable about things that have no significance in the world, but are my guilty pleasures and make me happy anyway....so here are some:
1- I am an expert at pop culture trivia, excluding Simpsons, South Park and other adult cartoons. People magazine was my favorite magazine as a pre-teen and still is. If I visit perezhilton.com once a day I visit it 400. I'm not one of those people that is obsessed with stardom and want to be like them, I just find the whole phenomenon fascinating. (I also understand though that I can't complain about the Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohans of the world because I pay for those magazines, but I can think they are ridiculous and get mad at myself for perpetuating it. I gave up People magazine for Lent one year and although hard, I did save lots of money).
2- I watch America's Next Top Model and Project Runway religiously. I used to be a complete reality tv whore, but I have given a lot of tv up. I can say with certainty I may never give those two shows up though. Alias is my favorite show of all time, but when JJ Abrams took that from me, I was forced to put these at the top, next to Grey's Anatomy.
3- I love a great meal like the next person, but I also love Taco Bell, really love it.
4- In grad school I became obsessed with a computer game called Snood and have recently reconnected with it, much to the detriment of my work load. I also found this game online which is quick and fun: http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/game/dond.swf
5- I love Regis Philbin and once sent him a Christmas card....although I never got one in return.
6- I love all things Friends and Sex and the City.
7- My favorite thing to do on Saturday mornings is to stay in bed read and book and have College Gameday on in the background ( I love SEC football, but what good southern girl doesn't?)

I'm sure there are other things I need to confess to, but I guess I do need to do some work, so they will come later.....

Helpful Hints

As someone who lives in a house that was built in the 1920's and who spills things a lot, I am always looking for clever ways to get stains out, etc. I got this e-mail today and thought I would share some of the fun things it taught me:
-A sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. (this doesn't really help you clean, but it could come in handy...)
-Use Empty toilet paper rolls to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
-For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: Get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won'tRefreeze.
-To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.
-Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).
-Permanent marker on appliances/counte r tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
-Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen Peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works Every time!
-Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak
-Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
-Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3Hours prior to burning.
-To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.
-Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces and there won't be any stains.
-Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sau ces. Left over wine? What's that? :)
-Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets
-Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour

Now, I have not personally tried any of these so I can't verify their effectiveness, but I can't wait to try them out!!

This may not seem important....

This may not seem important, but trust me it is. I hvae been having serious problems finding an eyeliner that doesn't make you look like a racoon by the end of the day. I've tried cheap, I've tried expensive, and they are all the same. If any of the three people who read this have any suggestions, please let me know. I know this isn't a really interesting post, but desperate times call for desperate measures. (I've tried Mary Kay, Aveda, and Cover Girl, etc....)

Kids are mean

So, driving into work today I passed a school bus stop. I noticed this adorable little boy and thought to myself, "That may be the cutest kid I've ever seen." Believe it or not, as I was thinking this, the kid looked at me, picked up a rock and threw it at my car! Yes, he threw a rock at my car- and then laughed. I had to remind myself I wasn't his mother because I almost turned the car around to go track him down, until I also realized I am an adult and didn't want to be the crazy lady who yells at 6 year olds on the street. Although if I see him again.....

Cold

Sometimes I think things happen to me because God likes to laugh at me. Take this morning for instance. Im getting out of bed to take the dog outside so I turn on trusty Flip Spiceland the weatherman (who isn't always so trusty) and discover its in the 50's, so I do what any normal person would do and put on jeans, a sweater, and a coat. We start around the block and the wind is blowing and its getting really cool so I decide to zip up my jacket. Safe enough, right? Wrong. In the next 5 minutes it must jump 20 degrees because all of a sudden I am sweating. I go to unzip my jacket when it occurs to me that this is the coat thats zipper is a little tempermental. Needless to say I am standing in the middle of the street with my dog's leash in between my knees and pulling at this zipper. Others in the neighborhood have realized its not quite the Artic and are passing by in short sleeves shirts and some even had on shorts.....and there I am sweating in a red parka people are probably currently wearing at the North Pole. Needless to say I looked like Santa Claus walking the rest of the way, but I just pretended the others were crazy and not me.
Of course now as I sit on my back deck to write this it has cooled off again and my fingers are about to fall off they are so cold.....but I am not putting that coat on again. (which I had to take off like a sweater when I got back home). Laugh, God, laugh.

Huh?

So, this morning I stopped by Panera (which I once thought was called Pantera) to get a bagel. I do this once maybe every 5 months because I am usually running late for work. Today for some reason I decided being late for work was no big deal so I went for it. While I was waiting in line this older woman comes up and asks the people working if they have anymore free bread samples. Now, my first thought is- free bread samples are a gift from the gods. When they are gone, you don't ask for more, you just curse the fact that you missed them (or ate them all). SOL lady. And as if this wasn't bad enough, she then goes (with a big smile on her face like we should join her) "Yeah, my dog is in the car and I wanted to give her some." I just stared at her because now not only has she gone against free bread sample etiquette she has kinda just said their food is only good for dogs. I mean, I love my dog, but I wouldn't ask for free food from a bakery for it. Bones from chik-fil-a drive thru, yes, bakery, no. And she just kept standing there waiting. Luckily, the workers understood free bread etiquette and they ignored her.
Unfortunately for me, turns out I was the crazy one because when I got back in my car I quickly realized I had forgotten to throw away my dog's "crap bag", for lack of a better word. So, my car smelled like dog crap. Maybe I'll skip my bagel idea next time.

You would think....

So, before I started this damn blog I swear crazy stuff happenend to me! And now I can't figure out if the craziness has stopped or if I am just putting so much pressure on events to be "blog worthy" that nothing is measuring up.
Then I realized, who is putting this pressure on me? The zero people (except Bossy barwife and reallyi'mamom) who are reading this non-advertised, tucked into cyberspace blog? So, pressure is gone. From now on I'm just going to write. And if you think its boring, then go read perezhilton.com, because that's what I do when I read boring stuff.
I WILL SAY that I am at a stupid Conference and I swear the people here are somewhat crazy. I was sitting next to this girl who (I kid you not) was telling me she used to be a clown but was now starting a new career and she said, "Yeah, its really hard. Now that I've put my red nose aside I am figuring out the next steps." Now, if it were me, I would have said that because well, its funny. Really funny. Unfortunately for us all, she was dead serious and actually says things like "now that I've put my red nose aside". Oh well. Crazytown . (sorry to any clowns out there, but you're scary anyway so this shouldn't hurt you too much)

The Beginning....

So, here it is. I still don't quite understand blogging, but I have been told I might be the only person without one, so here it is. I named it Welcome to Crazytown because most of the time I feel like that is where I live: Crazytown. In fact, I might be Mayor of Crazytown. If its not my stepmother forgetting she was supposed to call me for dinner (I don't take not eating lightly) or someone asking me if I could tune their organ, I promise you it is something crazy happening.... so I thought I would document crazytown happenings here. Hope you like 'em.