Guilty Pleasures

Ok, so I have a new obsession. Judge me or love me, but here it is: I am newly obsessed with the tv show Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader: Making the Team. I know what you are thinking, I thought it to when my sister turned it on this weekend, but it is so addictive its great. It follows the tryouts of becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader which is over a 3 month process and very intense. Its like heaven and a train wreck all at the same time. They focus on a few girls so you get to like them and worry about whether they are going to be cut at any second and its so great. For instance, (don't worry, I'm not giving anything away) in one episode the "director" of the cheerleaders doesn't like a girls attitude and decides she needs to be polished so her homework assignment is: not stretching or working on the dance routines, but to read a biography of Jackie Kennedy Onassis! AND she makes the girl give an oral report at practice. Classic. There are parts that do enrage me- like making these girls feel fat when I can see their ribcage, but look beyond that to the beauty of the show. It comes on CMT- don't know times, but search for it. You won't regret it. (Trivia fact: Their tv movie Dallas Cowboy CHeerleaders is the second highest rated tv movie of all time)
My other new obsession is playing Shop Til You Drop on my cellphone. I highly encourage you Verizon customers to download it.

Not a good start.......

Two things occurred in the past 24 hours which made me think this week is not off to a good start:
1) I forgot to "fall back". As everyone else was getting an extra hour of sleep, I was instead unknowingly getting up at 5:30 am so I was ready for work at 6:30, only to figure out I had a full hour to sit......luckily there is a Starbucks nearby. And to add insult to injury, I hate (and yes, mom I know hate is a very strong word), but I hate daylight savings time ending. I love it when it is still light outside at 8:00. I don't like it when I arrive at the gym at 5:30 and it is dark. I basically stay depressed until March, or whenever the sun comes again....although good Christmas presents can sometimes brighten the day.... :)
2) This morning as I was beginning the hair drying ritual, I realized I had just saturated my hair with, not my leave-in detangler spray, but with hairspray, which you may know does not detangle, it actually sets the tangles in. Thus, me having the worst hair day ever which just happens to fall on the day of my yearly review. Thanks.

Guilty Pleasures

I just need to get a few things off my chest so I don't have to keep thinking I need to be a smart blogger. I finally realized (even though I think I said I had already but apparently I was lying) that my friends who read this already know me and the rest of you don't know who I am so even if I impressed you with my knowledge of china and fine linens you wouldn't think any more of me on the street, so why bother. Don't get me wrong I do like good sheets and am fairly knowledgeable about some smart stuff- art and shoes (and if you don't think shoes are smart you are sorely mistaken) but I have found that I am most knowledgeable about things that have no significance in the world, but are my guilty pleasures and make me happy anyway....so here are some:
1- I am an expert at pop culture trivia, excluding Simpsons, South Park and other adult cartoons. People magazine was my favorite magazine as a pre-teen and still is. If I visit perezhilton.com once a day I visit it 400. I'm not one of those people that is obsessed with stardom and want to be like them, I just find the whole phenomenon fascinating. (I also understand though that I can't complain about the Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohans of the world because I pay for those magazines, but I can think they are ridiculous and get mad at myself for perpetuating it. I gave up People magazine for Lent one year and although hard, I did save lots of money).
2- I watch America's Next Top Model and Project Runway religiously. I used to be a complete reality tv whore, but I have given a lot of tv up. I can say with certainty I may never give those two shows up though. Alias is my favorite show of all time, but when JJ Abrams took that from me, I was forced to put these at the top, next to Grey's Anatomy.
3- I love a great meal like the next person, but I also love Taco Bell, really love it.
4- In grad school I became obsessed with a computer game called Snood and have recently reconnected with it, much to the detriment of my work load. I also found this game online which is quick and fun: http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/game/dond.swf
5- I love Regis Philbin and once sent him a Christmas card....although I never got one in return.
6- I love all things Friends and Sex and the City.
7- My favorite thing to do on Saturday mornings is to stay in bed read and book and have College Gameday on in the background ( I love SEC football, but what good southern girl doesn't?)

I'm sure there are other things I need to confess to, but I guess I do need to do some work, so they will come later.....

Helpful Hints

As someone who lives in a house that was built in the 1920's and who spills things a lot, I am always looking for clever ways to get stains out, etc. I got this e-mail today and thought I would share some of the fun things it taught me:
-A sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. (this doesn't really help you clean, but it could come in handy...)
-Use Empty toilet paper rolls to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
-For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: Get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won'tRefreeze.
-To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.
-Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).
-Permanent marker on appliances/counte r tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
-Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen Peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works Every time!
-Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak
-Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
-Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3Hours prior to burning.
-To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.
-Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces and there won't be any stains.
-Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sau ces. Left over wine? What's that? :)
-Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets
-Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour

Now, I have not personally tried any of these so I can't verify their effectiveness, but I can't wait to try them out!!

This may not seem important....

This may not seem important, but trust me it is. I hvae been having serious problems finding an eyeliner that doesn't make you look like a racoon by the end of the day. I've tried cheap, I've tried expensive, and they are all the same. If any of the three people who read this have any suggestions, please let me know. I know this isn't a really interesting post, but desperate times call for desperate measures. (I've tried Mary Kay, Aveda, and Cover Girl, etc....)

Kids are mean

So, driving into work today I passed a school bus stop. I noticed this adorable little boy and thought to myself, "That may be the cutest kid I've ever seen." Believe it or not, as I was thinking this, the kid looked at me, picked up a rock and threw it at my car! Yes, he threw a rock at my car- and then laughed. I had to remind myself I wasn't his mother because I almost turned the car around to go track him down, until I also realized I am an adult and didn't want to be the crazy lady who yells at 6 year olds on the street. Although if I see him again.....

Cold

Sometimes I think things happen to me because God likes to laugh at me. Take this morning for instance. Im getting out of bed to take the dog outside so I turn on trusty Flip Spiceland the weatherman (who isn't always so trusty) and discover its in the 50's, so I do what any normal person would do and put on jeans, a sweater, and a coat. We start around the block and the wind is blowing and its getting really cool so I decide to zip up my jacket. Safe enough, right? Wrong. In the next 5 minutes it must jump 20 degrees because all of a sudden I am sweating. I go to unzip my jacket when it occurs to me that this is the coat thats zipper is a little tempermental. Needless to say I am standing in the middle of the street with my dog's leash in between my knees and pulling at this zipper. Others in the neighborhood have realized its not quite the Artic and are passing by in short sleeves shirts and some even had on shorts.....and there I am sweating in a red parka people are probably currently wearing at the North Pole. Needless to say I looked like Santa Claus walking the rest of the way, but I just pretended the others were crazy and not me.
Of course now as I sit on my back deck to write this it has cooled off again and my fingers are about to fall off they are so cold.....but I am not putting that coat on again. (which I had to take off like a sweater when I got back home). Laugh, God, laugh.

Huh?

So, this morning I stopped by Panera (which I once thought was called Pantera) to get a bagel. I do this once maybe every 5 months because I am usually running late for work. Today for some reason I decided being late for work was no big deal so I went for it. While I was waiting in line this older woman comes up and asks the people working if they have anymore free bread samples. Now, my first thought is- free bread samples are a gift from the gods. When they are gone, you don't ask for more, you just curse the fact that you missed them (or ate them all). SOL lady. And as if this wasn't bad enough, she then goes (with a big smile on her face like we should join her) "Yeah, my dog is in the car and I wanted to give her some." I just stared at her because now not only has she gone against free bread sample etiquette she has kinda just said their food is only good for dogs. I mean, I love my dog, but I wouldn't ask for free food from a bakery for it. Bones from chik-fil-a drive thru, yes, bakery, no. And she just kept standing there waiting. Luckily, the workers understood free bread etiquette and they ignored her.
Unfortunately for me, turns out I was the crazy one because when I got back in my car I quickly realized I had forgotten to throw away my dog's "crap bag", for lack of a better word. So, my car smelled like dog crap. Maybe I'll skip my bagel idea next time.

You would think....

So, before I started this damn blog I swear crazy stuff happenend to me! And now I can't figure out if the craziness has stopped or if I am just putting so much pressure on events to be "blog worthy" that nothing is measuring up.
Then I realized, who is putting this pressure on me? The zero people (except Bossy barwife and reallyi'mamom) who are reading this non-advertised, tucked into cyberspace blog? So, pressure is gone. From now on I'm just going to write. And if you think its boring, then go read perezhilton.com, because that's what I do when I read boring stuff.
I WILL SAY that I am at a stupid Conference and I swear the people here are somewhat crazy. I was sitting next to this girl who (I kid you not) was telling me she used to be a clown but was now starting a new career and she said, "Yeah, its really hard. Now that I've put my red nose aside I am figuring out the next steps." Now, if it were me, I would have said that because well, its funny. Really funny. Unfortunately for us all, she was dead serious and actually says things like "now that I've put my red nose aside". Oh well. Crazytown . (sorry to any clowns out there, but you're scary anyway so this shouldn't hurt you too much)

The Beginning....

So, here it is. I still don't quite understand blogging, but I have been told I might be the only person without one, so here it is. I named it Welcome to Crazytown because most of the time I feel like that is where I live: Crazytown. In fact, I might be Mayor of Crazytown. If its not my stepmother forgetting she was supposed to call me for dinner (I don't take not eating lightly) or someone asking me if I could tune their organ, I promise you it is something crazy happening.... so I thought I would document crazytown happenings here. Hope you like 'em.